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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  July 19, 2012 7:25pm-7:55pm PDT

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(cheers and applause) >> stephen: t
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captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart! we've got an excellent... we have an excellent episode following, obviously, what was a wonderful encounter session with the audience. (laughter) where i thought we learned a lot
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about each other. (laughter) my guest to want the great sigourney weaver, the show "political animals." she plays a neo-con pan sda. (laughter) no? that's... that's not the show. you have to advocate mitt that'd be a pretty (bleep)ing show. neo-con pandas. tonight we start with our current economic woes. we all know where to place the blame for our woes. >> more regulation will strangle the private sector. >> states are going bust and cities are going bust. they're in dire financial shape because of public sector unions. >> the uncertainty facing small businesses are crippling job creation in our country. >> jon: got it! (laughter) too much regulation, gledy public sector union pensions. uncertainty. (laughter)
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the stallion of the free market cannot run wild while saddled with these progressive sacred cows feeding at the trough of... i... (laughter) i went to a farm over the break. (laughter) it was a petting zoo. (laughter) it was a kentucky fried chicken. (laughter) look, my point is this: why you gotta mess with business? you gots to lets business be business if you want the economy to prosper. although there is one other issue that also seems to be causing some economic distress i've been hearing about recently. >> libor. >> libor. >> the libor rate. >> jon: (as jerry lewis) the libor rate with the libor. what is that? the percentage of money that must be set aside for government workers' retirement accounts
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that have slowed growth? is that libor? i'll write down what i think libor is and then you tell me. >> it's the interest rate that the world's biggest banks charge each other to borrow money. >> jon: okay, i do not that v that. (laughter) i was drawing the mythical half wild boor half lion. (laughter) that was rumored to have killed achilles' brother jimmy. (laughter) the greek. (laughter) libor is the rate that banks use when lending money to each other. and so libor becomes the benchmark for, really, all money lending on, let's say, earth. credit cards, student loan, adjustable rate mortgages. if you see a number outside the bank's placard with balloons tied to it it has been set in some way by libor.
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sorry, i interrupted you. >> this libor rate was manipulate bade number of banks during the financial crisis. >> jon: what an attractive young... wait, what did she say in (laughter) very sweet lady just delivered terrible news! i'm going to need to see some very concrete evidence that banks knowingly and deliberately submitted false libor rates. >> but what we're now seeing very concrete evidence of is that the banks deliberately and knowingly submitted false data. (laughter) okay, the banks submitted false data. probably for the good of the entire economy, as a liquidity enhancement that serves all of mankind and... >> benefit themselves. (laughter and applause) >> jon: bankers!
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never trust anything that rimes with west bankers. (laughter) you may be thinking, how do you manipulate the world's most central key interest rate? probably got to go cruise "mission impossible" drop in with a laser security system and hack in using remote control nano tech spider drones. or... >> it's arranged by a trade group of banks in london everyday around lunchtime in london about 16 banks submit to the british bankers' association day that that is an estimate of how much it would cost those banks to borrow from each other. >> jon: you know, there are all these conspiracy theories about the world's financial system being controlled by six illuminati members in the basement of the vatican. (laughter) it's actually just 16 london lunch buddies. (laughter) just out of curiosity, what would public e-mails look like with a scheme such as this? >> traders e-mailing each other saying "hey, i really need you
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to... i really need my rates to come in at a certain rate. if it doesn't happen i'm going to get killed." (laughter) >> jon: so these e-mails, traders for these banks would call up the bank official charged with reporting their bank's libor borrowing rate and ask these individuals to lie. just a little. about the rate. what do e-mails look like post-lye. >> quote, dude, i owe you big time. come over after work and i'm opening a bottle of bollinger. >>" >> when i write a book about this your name will be in golden letters. the reply from london? "i would prefer this not be in any book." (applause)
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>> jon: how would you feel about it being in an indictment? (laughter) who who is running these banks? how does this happen? >> rich richie, he is probably the most senior person at barclays. bob dimon fired amid the libor scandal. >> jon: are you (bleep)ing kidding me? no. rich richie? and mr. diamond? (laughter) is this real or a dickens novel? here's how weird this story is. one of the few good guys in the story is a banker who didn't participate in the rigging of rates. his name? alexander hoare. (laughter) he's a scion of london's esteem hoare and company. that's right, folks. even the hoares are disgusted.
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an eighth-generation hoare from a long line of london hoares. >> earlier we told you the three things we'd all heard about that were killing our economy were, number one overregulation. >> there's not very much oversight over how the banks submit that data. >> jon: okay, so not overregulation in this case. sounds a little more like underregulation. so it must be the number-two reason, the uncertainty in things like obamacare and dodd-frank that's killing us. >> they're monk kiss around with libor. i talked to one friend who works on wall street he said "this is like finding out the whole world is built on quicksand." >> jon: okay, so at least now we know what it's built on. (laughter) that's a type of certainty so an unregulated free market can also apparently create uncertainty and some bankers made a few hundreds of millions of dollars between each other rigging their bests on interest rates and kept interest rates artificially low
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during the financial crisis. it still doesn't excuse economy-wrecking reason number three-- public sector unions and the damage they cause with their massive pension demands. >> the victims in this whatever you want to call it are the municipalities and the cities and anybody who got paid less than a fair market interest rate on bonds >> oh, right. (laughter) the public sector pensions are underfunded in part because the bonds they own are paying too low a yield thanks to 16 suited turd monkeys in london. (laughter) >> the city of baltimore and the firefighters and police union of new britain, connecticut, have already filed a lawsuit you're talking about one or two million dollars, that's a fire company. >> jon: yeah, but when you take out a mortgage to rebuild your burned-down house you're going to get a great rate. (laughter) we'll be right back. (applau
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back, everybody. you know, i don't know if you know this or not but often times presidential candidates typically release several year's worth of taxes. but not your mitt romney there. he... you know, democrats demanding more disclosure. you're never going to believe who else. republicans are telling the man to show some stuff. >> they should release the tax returns tomorrow. it's crazy, you have to release six, eight, ten years of back taxes. >> the cost of not releasing the returns are clear. >> even if you don't release 12 years worth of tax returns at least three, four, five. >> should he release the tax returns? >> i would. >> jon: i would but... laugh leif then again i seat cigars. i'm not much of a role model. (laughter) but i tell you what, for once
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romney's not going to cave to the pressure. >> the obama people keep wanting more and more and more things to pick through, more things for their opposition research to make a mountain out of and to distort and be dishonest about. >> jon: you can't release your returns because if you do the democrats will be mean to you. i see your concern. these on obama people, whatever you release it will never be enough. they'll just keep hounding you and hounding you with frivolous transparency demands like this. >> i still would like to see obama's college transcripts. >> he would be the president of the harvard law review. can we see a piece of paper, an article he published? >> we still don't have his records from the illinois state senate. >> some indelible record exists of public remarks namee shell obama allegedly made in reference to white people as whitey's. >> then there is michelle obama's senior thesis from princeton university. >> where's the white house visitor's records >> why can't they release the birther is i have the sdmat >> show it to us. >> show us the birth
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certificate. thank you very much, steve, i appreciate that. (audience reacts) >> you're a good man steve, you're hired. you keep it up maybe one day i'm come in and sit on that (bleep)ing couch instead of phoning in from bed. (laughter) where i am right now naked! (laughter) all right, all right, that's republicans hounding obama for documents but still the less the better because no matter how innocuous it might seem democrats will tear it to sheds desperate to make something out of nothing. what would that look like? >> this is not a birth certificate? >> see this? this has clearly been photocopyd from a book. >> this whole boarder is suspect. >> it's s a fraudulent document. >> yes. thank you sheriff joe, if anyone knows how to authenticate a 50-year-old hawaiian birth certificate it's the arizona county sheriff. (laughter)
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democrats didn't want to be dicks about romney's tax returns, the republicans have given a master class on how to do it. but mitt romney doesn't have to release his forms because we at the show have gotten our hands on them. (cheers and applause) we have chained mitt romney's 1040s for the last... 23525 years, let's say. (laughter) and we've had them for a while but for some reason never mentioned it. (laughter) until tonight but we will parcel out tidbits from them in a new recurring segment we call: (cheers and applause) >> jon: as you can see (laughter) unless you think think is just like eight papers with writing on it and a sack of blanks...
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(laughter) ... they're very large and complicated. i'll break them down by topic. tonight we'll discuss cars. you may recall mitt romney came in for ribbing because his home in california contain askar elevator. turns out the car elevator was the latest in a long series of experiments designed to move cars within the romney home. it started out more modestly. in '59 his his forms show a deduction for car stair bus as he grew more successful he added a car escalator and later on a car lazy susan. (laughter) which were augmented in 2002 with romney's self-designed car-apult. i believe we have a picture of the car-apult as he designed it. (laughter) it led directly to the following year's deductions if a generous settlement with romney's neighbors. not sure why having crashed two cars into their house he went for the third but... (laughter)
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we're going to go through his returns. join us soon for another installment of
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>> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight has a new series called "political animals." >> forget the press conference if we don't draw a line in the stand with harris and the white house... >> you could have gotten yourself fired for that kind of behavior in front of the president. he's not just a boss, he is not your floor manager at chilis. he is the president of the united states. and whether or not this sdrags is trading on my popularity is not what matters now. all that matters now are the three scared innocent people sitting in a jail cell in toronto wondering what the hell their country is doing to help them. are we clear? >> jon: please welcome back to the program sigourney weaver!
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: nice to see you again. >> nice to see you. >> jon: let me get straight if i can. >> uh-oh. >> jon: the woman who was married to the president, the president cheats on her, she herself runs for president, loses, now she has been appointed secretary of state by the person that she ran against. it's implausible. >> so implausible. (laughter) not in a million years can you come up with obama. so absurd. >> jon: were you thinking... oh, do you feel that you have to model it after hillary clinton or do you feel you have to actually go the other direction? >> you know, i have to say as soon as i started reading the first page i was so hooked on the character of elaine and on
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the family of the hammonds who i have to say are inspired perhaps in part by the clintons but also by the johnsons, also by the kennedys. it's about this fascinating family who were in the white house who were probably scarred by that experience in lots of different ways but who now dysfunctional as we are are trying to get back in the white house. so it rips aside the veil on a lot of these families who.... >> jon: dynastic families. we have dynastys in america. >> and i think we think of them as american royalty and he's a political junky. he's very.... >> jon: he's a junky. (laughter) you're working for a heroin addict. >> exactly. who else would be in this business? >> jon: i don't think anybody. have you gotten to spend any time in that dynastic world with the kennedys or bushes or clintons? >> no, but i'm sure you have. >> jon: no!
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the kennedys never call me. (laughter) >> wow. >> jon: the bushes do but usually the expletives and i hang up. (laughter) clinton calls but i'm a busy man. (laughter) >> i like having them on the pedestal but what's fun about this show it's a very... you sort of take them... you go behind the scenes and see them off the pedestal. >> jon: right, right, right. >> and they're like you and me and everybody else and no matter how high powered these people are and how capable... and i think i play a woman in washington who really is... she is... she does see the big picture. she says the right things. she's very passionate, strong moral compass. then she goes home and in her own kitchen she can't handle anything. so it's very.... >> jon: i can see your enthusiasm. you know, does that happen often
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that the synapses begin to fire on a character? how much dreck do you wade through before you find these... is it difficult to find something that gets your eyes sparked up? >> i think it is these days for a lot of different reasons and, quite frankly, although i wasn't looking for t.v., i was a very happy guilty cable television watcher. >> jon: sure. cable is very underrated. (laughter) it's a brilliant business. >> this story could have ambushed me because if you'd said this parallels with hillary clinton i'd go "well, i don't know why are they coming to me for this? i should be playing some sheriff in alaska or something." (laughter) but, in fact... that's what i'm known... something about the iditarod and dogs and... you know? not this beautiful woman who's so well spoken and.... >> jon: no! the film, the big screen you're doing the other things. so it's nice. >> i've fallen in love with this because there's something a cable story can do telling a
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different episode every week where it's a different way of getting to know people. >> jon: there's more immediacy to it. aren't you doing... "avatar" has two sequels but don't you have to film those over a two-year period in an underground volcano? >> how did you know? i got that memo but i thought it was a secret. >> jon: when you guys were filming that... this is completely off topic. when you see james cameron, do you ever say to him "unobtainium really?" (laughter) was there ever that moment where you were like "i know you're a genius but... hello?" (laughter) never? never? >> (laughs) no. >> jon: although it apparently was discussed at the wrap party. but this is good. when is this thing on? >> it plays sunday night at 10:00. it's a treat. i especially want women to see it. after you found the kids' shorts
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for camp and the hockey sticks and everything else just grab a glass of wine, put your feet up and watch this delicious show. >> jon: if you don't have kids and you find those shorts and the hockey stick... (laughter) >> even more reason. >> jon: i would say more wine. "political animals" with the great sigourney weaver airs u.s.a. sunday night at 10:00. thank you for being here.
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